November 30, 2015
Single Dennis Dx: A story of steroid addiction
I used to be a project manager for a charity called the Project it was to build self esteem in young people especially BME groups, which is ironic as I started taking illegal substances to make myself feel and look better. I began taking steroids in 2002 when I was 19, my gym partner was taking them and he was getting bigger and I wanted to be as stacked as him. I started weight training without steroids when I was 18 and was going about four times a week. It is really addictive and you just want to get as toned and strong as you can. However, you can only get so big without using steroids, even if you use all the proteins shakes and any of the other hundreds of products available to help boost your workout. You still need an extra boost to get to the next level. My training partner bought them from a contact of his, I never met the dealer, but they cost me £25 for 100 tablets. I started taking only 3 a day, as I was a bit scared of the side effects, but after a short space of time I upped the dosage. Within a matter of weeks I was up to 15 a day. After I started taking them, I would work out six days a week and they really did work to improve my body. I noticed a difference within about four weeks, I looked much bigger. They make you lift a lot more and you want to do more. The testosterone boost gives you more power and determination on the gym floor. I took them consistently until 2008 when I moved onto injections, as they were supposed to work better than the tablets. To be honest I was more scared of the needles rather than the steroids because I had done a lot of research into them. I administered the injection myself. The first time was a bit scary, I nipped into the toilet at work and was worried I might do it wrong. You inject them into your bum, which is quite awkward. I got free needles from a needle exchange used by heroin users as well as steroid users. They gave me a booklet where to inject it and how to do it, to make sure you don’t injure yourself. They also give you a box so you can return the needles and deposit them safely. I had injections twice a week, at a cost £8 a shot. I wanted to up the dose but it can be very bad for the heart and twice a week was more than enough. They were much better than the tablets and are supposed to be less harmful to your liver I didn’t tell my friends and family I was taking steroids as I would be embarrassed that I was taking harmful products just to make myself look better and I didn’t want to worry them. I eventually stopped in 2010 because it was making me very aggressive. I would get into fights in pubs and did some things I regret. If someone would say something, I would react in a violent way I wouldn’t back down and talk about it like I used to. I didn’t like the person I was becoming. I had on-off partners; if they did notice my aggression problems, I would move onto the next one. I looked good and there were plenty of fish in the sea. To be honest steroids didn’t shrink my penis or cause any hair loss, but they did affect my mood. Friends were wary of me, as I could flip at something relatively minor, due to mood swings caused by the steroids. Eventually when I stopped taking them I told a few friends why I had been so aggressive and apologised for my behaviour. I still work out five times a week. I do miss my perfect body but it wasn’t worth it for the negative effects of what they did to me Hopefully I stopped before the long term effects took hold, but it worries me that I might have problems later in life.